Meet my Extraterrestrial Spider Therapist
Directed by Johan Renck
Starring Adam Sandler, Carey Mulligan, Isabella Rossellini
Released March 8th, 2024
Rated R
Czech cosmonaut Jakub Procházka (Adam Sandler) is in the middle of a year-long solo space mission to investigate a mysterious purple dust cloud beyond the planet Jupiter. Jakub’s daily routine involves ship maintenance, physical fitness, and communicating with Peter (Kunal Nayyar), his mission engineer/technician on Earth. Jakub is able to speak with his wife Lenka (Carey Mulligan) via a system called “Czech Connect,” but he hasn’t heard from her in a while. This concerns Jakub, who asks Peter if he can go check on her. But Lenka isn’t home. She has gone to see her mother Zdena (Lena Olin), because she has made the decision to divorce Jakub. She recorded a message for Jakub informing him of this, but Commissioner Tuma (Isabella Rossellini) refuses to send it along to her traveling cosmonaut, believing the blow would be too much for his already fragile psychological state. The success of the mission must not be compromised.
One day Jakub’s solitude is invaded by an enormous spider. Well, it looks very much like a spider, but it’s not exactly an arachnid from Earth. This creature’s face is different, with small, furry tentacles near its human-like mouth. This spider-like creature is able to speak Jakub’s language and also has some sort of psychic ability that allows it to bring up someone’s memories in their head. This is helpful for when the creature decides to help Jakub navigate his loneliness and marital issues. Initially frightened of the creature, Jakub quickly comes to love and trust his uninvited companion, whom he names Hanuš. Soon Jakub is telling Hanuš his woes and offering to share his supply of the hazelnut cocoa spread Nutella for a snack. Is it possible that the spider doesn’t really exist and is just a by-product of Jakub’s solitary confinement in deep space? I suppose. But the film never hints at that possibility, it treats Hanuš as a real entity, no different than Jakub.
Paul Dano provides the voice of Hanuš, rarely speaking above a whisper, as if he’s always in Jakub’s ear. The computer-generated effects of the giant eight-legged creature are good enough to frighten arachnophobes away from watching the film. In a recent interview, the wonderful Kirsten Dunst revealed that she hasn’t worked in two years because she was only being offered “sad mom roles.” I wonder if the part in Spaceman that went to Carey Mulligan was one of those roles. I am surprised an actor of the caliber of Mulligan would sign up for the vastly underwritten part of Lenka. It’s beneath her considerable talents. The same could be said about Adam Sandler. At this point in his career, it’s not unusual to see him in a dramatic role, but he’s been much more impressive in Punch-Drunk Love, Reign Over Me, and Uncut Gems. The role of Jakub doesn’t require him to do much more than complain.
Director Johan Renck mostly sticks to a straightforward, understated style, only occasionally using a blurry effect in the film’s more trippy moments. It’s not a very trippy film, however, choosing to slog along from moment to moment with one unhappy memory after another from Jakub and Lenka’s past. One wonders what the spider gets out of all of it. The screenplay by Colby Day, adapted from the novel Spaceman of Bohemia by Jaroslav Kalfař, is frustrating in its lack of tension. Spaceman grasps at profundity but fails to offer much more than loneliness being difficult to endure unless you have access to Nutella.